HOW TO FIND OUT WHEN YOUR SPOUSE IS HAVING AN AFFAIR & WHAT THE WARNING SIGNS ARE.

How would you react and would you feel if you had a suspicion that your spouse was cheating on you. Would you be able to find the hidden messages and the tiny subconscious warning signs? There are a few indications that an affair is happening in your relationship. You will need solid evidence though before you make any hasty accusations against your partner though. There are first and foremost the warning signs.

The obvious tell tale signs your spouse is having an affair:


Mood swings - Your spouses attitude and emotional stability can be reflected on their overall mood. Whenever someone in a relationship starts living a "double life," the stress of this secrecy can pile on top of their daily anxieties just as much as it can weigh heavily on the suspicion from their spouse. The mood swings will be seemingly almost as if the other is suffering from being bi-polar with constant roller coaster ups and downs. One minute, they are tender and caring, then the following they are immediately upset by a trivial thing. Living a double life can may in fact cause these emotional roller-coaster rides with their emotions.
Self Esteem - You may suddenly be aware that your partner is taken on a new boost to their self esteem and is making steps towards bettering themselves. A sudden diet or exercise program where in the past they never had the desire or actually took action on them before is now suddenly replaced with an over eager attitude to lose that weight quickly and get fit. While this may be appealing to you it can actually be masked by the guise of excitement and thrilling rush your partner is experiencing with the new affair they are having. In the bedroom it's possible they will have new requests and new demands, including more desire and a stronger sex drive. It can be misleading as you are excited by this new change but it can represent the signal that something is definitely going on outside of your own bed as well. The strangest behavior that is usually noticed with a cheater is the boost of confidence they begin to feel. It manifests itself with their self esteem boost due to the new found confidence and sneaking around they are doing, which gives a powerful feeling of being in control and having absolute power.
Secrecy - You should pay attention to this very revealing warning sign. If your spouse develops a complete change in their mannerisms and the way they handle incoming calls, make calls, take messages, or in other words communicate with their new lover, it is important to see the changes. Communication between two having an affair is usually done in secrecy and with today's age of technology it's getting easier and easier to be stealthy about it. Text messages, cell phones, emails, etc. If you notice more then normal usage on the cell phones, suddenly your spouse is texting "his buddies" where he's never texted before or hated it, that can be a sign. Your spouse can rush out of the room within earshot and try to keep the incoming call secret. You may notice that your spouse will ignore incoming calls at times and not even answer them just letting it go while you're in their presence. These are powerful warning signals.
Everything is in Disarray - Your spouse will suddenly act very differently around the house and all the normal behaviors and patterns of normal routines will be in disarray. The clear example of this will manifest in your home. In the home setting where things were once organized and daily patterns and rituals were followed, you will notice subtle to even dramatic changes in your partners daily patterns. They will sacrifice their home life for the substitution of time with their new lover. Appointments and responsibilities will be distractions to them. They will seem flustered and maybe absent minded as they forget things and appointments, constantly apologizing for not making it on time or having to suddenly leave because "something came up." They will make excuses to be gone and come home late. There will be a noticeable difference in their lifestyle and daily routines that are important to pick up on.

While it is important to discover these changes that could ultimately lead to the finding of an affair. It's time to deal with the findings. The most important thing to do when a new affair is found out is to put a stop to it and ask yourself if you wish to remain with your spouse. The damage and painful hurt is no doubt there, but is your marriage or relationship worth saving and more importantly does your spouse still love you and do you more importantly still love your spouse? Whatever it was that had led up to problems in the relationship, it is understandably no excuse for an affair but there is help to save your relationship after this damage is done.